Does my bum look big in this?

A few weeks back my Mum gifted me an unwanted back pack vacuum cleaner. Great! It so happens that my resident VC is literally held together with some sort of industrial strength silver tape. My Dad expresses concern "Isn't that the one you had to wear ear muffs with?". Mum reassures him (us) that it isn't. Unwanted only because it didn't have a particular feature.

I return home with my new VC and promptly put my old one out for the council kerbside rubbish collection.

Saturday arrives, this is cleaning day (he, being Stray, is at golf as usual). I don't mind this routine, it gives me a clear run at doing the floors, without interruptions or dirty feet walking in and out of the house.

I find a power lead, not long enough, I add a second one. This is going to be great! No wheeling, pulling, unplugging, replugging from room to room. I attempt to strap it on my back and nearly topple over. And again...got it this time.

Right...turn it on...right...how? I feel and fumble around for the switch, coz I can't see anything...it's on my back. No luck, off it comes and I memorise where the switch is. Start again. Turn it on. Works a treat, strong suction, all the various head attachments. Although I must admit, I did feel a bit awkward (back heavy) and a bit silly.

A few weeks go by. Saturday (Golf) Cleaning. Saturday (Golf) Cleaning. Saturday (Golf) Cleaning.

I haven't bothered strapping it on since the first vacuuming. Now I just move it along as I go, after all, it has no wheels...it's a back pack.

My Dad enquires by email..."So, how's the VC going? Gaining enough altitude?" After all, it does look uncannily like a jet pack. Like those out of an old spy movie. "It's all going fine," I say. Although I admit I've been doing more dragging, than wearing.

Saturday (Golf, but really early start golf) Cleaning...got put off for a few hours while I got distracted with? Ah, who needs a reason? I decide to give the back wearing thing another go. Hoist it on, turn it on and off I go. I could get used to this.

Early start golf = early home. He walks in, he's never seen the back pack VC, he's always at golf. He stands in the doorway looking at me blankly.

"That's just ridiculous," he says and walks off...

...to get the camera!