Monday, February 21, 2011

Hairy predicament

A while back Talen was discussing the incredible amount of women's hair he swept up off his floor and removed from his shower drain. He claimed he'd collected enough to make a new rug for Donald Trump, in just one cleaning session...and I believe him, 110%. At that time the situation was just beginning to get my goat, here in our own apartment.

By the way, did you know that some of these beautiful young girls spend up to six hours in a hairdresser's chair having their hair chemically straightened? Like it's not already straight enough? Once treated, no matter how much the wind blows, their locks will fall back to dead vertical.

I recently had my hair permed, not that that has any bearing on this story, apart from now the hair on my floor is curly and probably easier to see. I'm not just talking about a few hairs...I'm talking at least 100 per day, or more. They even seem to appear overnight, like some little hair gnome runs amok while I'm asleep. I was going to post a photo of the contents of my dustpan, but thought I'd spare any readers, just in case they were eating, as my hair isn't that attractive after being mixed in with dirt, fluff, sesame seeds and food crumbs.
Lani also posted about coming to grips with the amount of flotsam and jetsam made more evident by tiled floors, which are all the rage here in Thailand. Not just tiled, but huge, white or cream, shiny, smooth tiles with bloody white tile grout in between...and need cleaning everyday.

M, if you're reading...DON'T DO THE BIG LIGHT COLOURED TILE THING!

In Australia we have tiles in our house, but they're slate, textured, not shiny and vary in colour. I know that there's hair down there, but it's hard to see and I know they'll get sucked up by the vacume cleaner when I clean the floors. Is it possible to miss a vacume cleaner?

Today I got so jacked off when I was sweeping them up with the muppet broom, which they stick to and then flick off all over the place (and at times I want to just launch it off the balcony) I came up with a solution. No, not a vacume cleaner, not yet anyway.

A HAIR NET!

Unattractive it may sound and Stray may need to get accustomed to me looking like a food processing factory worker (NO OFFENCE), but hey, if it keeps my hair caged up, it's gotta be good. (Maybe I should let my eyebrows grow back together to complete the look?)

So anyway, I look around the plaza nearby, but can't find any. On the way home the local 65 Baht shop had some hidden away in a corner. I opened the packet when I got home, eager to try on my new purchase and put an end to my hairy predicament.

I start pulling it out of the packet...once piece...then another ....then another, until I realised that it had fallen apart.

For a second I thought someone was playing a cruel joke, because it appeared as though my dustpan had been raided and my own clumps of malted hair had been shoved into the packet. I suspect the hair net was old, brittle stock, and that they'd all be in the same condition. Surprising really, because it's a brilliant idea and I thought they'd sell heaps...don't you think?

Off I trot to replace my packet of bits. The girls at the counter start to inspect the contents and fiddle about until they stretch one of the knots out to vaguely form a hair net shape and look at me like I've lost the plot. Apparently I have not only one net, but several. Several, that once unravelled, are barely visible to the naked eye and are so fine they wouldn't contain fairy floss, never mind my hair.

"OK?" they ask.

"Yes, sorry for the misunderstanding." I say and leave feeling like a right twit and a little like the star out of the 'Emperor's New Clothes'. I stop by my friend's shop, which also happens to be a hair salon (should have been my first port of call), and tell her about my plight...my hair...the tiles...the nets. I show her the bag of cobwebs and she generously hands over a few of her own, heavier duty type, for me to try.

So, here I sit, sporting my new look, watching the floor like a hawk.

Well...not really, I do have a life, but, I'll let you know how it all goes!

*It's normal to lose between 40 and 120 hairs per day. For those who have fine hair (ME) tend to have more hair, therefore, lose more hair. Excessive or continual loss of hair should not be ignored, though and maybe a sign of other conditions...like stress, from the amount of hair you have to clean off your floors!


Snap's other blog Chiang Mai Thai

10 comments:

Mike said... Best Blogger Tips

Hi Snap that made me smile. At least you could open the pack, something that i find quite challenging here!

Talking about hair reminded me of that disgusting female habit of shaving ones legs in the bath for some reason ;-)

BTW one solution would be to join your local temple if they have a female section!

Snap said... Best Blogger Tips

@Mike I confess, I used my teeth to open the packet. The thought of having my hair chopped back to boy length, yet again, has crossed my mind and will no doubt be even more appealing as summer heat and humidity sets it.

Malcolm and CieJay Burgess said... Best Blogger Tips

Hello Snap, thanks for the read and Ciejay has the same problem with hair and I am forever taking toliet paper and gathering it up and flushing it and I have to clean the shower drains about everyother month , Oh by the way could you add me to the list of blogs you follow ?? I've added you a couple weeks ago . Malcolm

Snap said... Best Blogger Tips

@Malcolm and CieJay Burgess I had 'Retired in Thailand...' on my blog roll for nearly one year, but did some spring cleaning not so long ago...must have hit the delete button one too many times.

So far, so good, with the hair net :)

jj said... Best Blogger Tips

I know how much hair I clean up in our ensuite here everyday, the mind boggles as to how much extra did you sweep up while I was staying with you.

Snap said... Best Blogger Tips

@jj Trying to figure out just how many more there were, would be like splitting hairs ;)

Hey, love the mask! It looks slightly familiar.

Lani said... Best Blogger Tips

555 - i suppose we should be grateful that we have hair to lose :) i keep thinking how traumatic it must be for men to go bald.

will you be wearing a hair net today? i think it's unavoidable. like my bed for instance! ug!

Snap said... Best Blogger Tips

@Lani NO! We will not be seen in public in our hair net ;)

Martyn said... Best Blogger Tips

Snap I work for a pharmaceutical company and so wearing a hair net is a routine thing for me to do. Though that doesn't mean I like wearing one.

I hate the way Wilai's black hair sits around the shower drain. Without my glasses on I always immediately think spider. Luckily they don't scare me too much.

Snap said... Best Blogger Tips

@Martyn Actually NOT wearing my glasses may be a partical solution.

I'm OK with spiders too (have to be considering where I come from), except when they rear up at me in the shower cubicle...that's were my tolerence, and their life, ends.